The Good Survives…….choosing how we remember

Not the day it said 'No fishing', The day the osprey looked at us.

Not the day it said ‘No fishing’,
The day the osprey looked at us.

The Good Survives

Not the time Jane threw a coffeepot at Don,
but the time they swam with turtles in Puako Bay.

        Not getting drunk and crashing your friend’s car,
        but handing him your #20 Adams, that’s caught fish all day.

Charles Harper Webb

These are the opening couplets of The Good Survives by Charles Harper Webb. This poem was recently selected by Natasha Tretheway in the New York Times Magazine. She said:

As a child, I would often recite poems to banish some painful or unpleasant memory. Words became a kind of talisman, as they are in this poem, a way of willing the mind to recollect all the good that lives alongside what we want to forget.These opening couplets remind us about the selective potential of memory and, more importantly, that we can choose how to remember someone or some event. 

I used this poem in a mental health recovery group; a participant said it reminded her that she could choose the memories that survive and not be overwhelmed by the dark, the sad, the traumatic. These can be the memories that so often come to the fore, obliterating the good and potentially overwhelming someone. Knowing that we have a choice, finding a sense of our own agency, is a powerful part of becoming ourselves. The group wrote their own couplets; a participant said that writing and reading ‘made the thoughts in my head dissipate’ and that writing gave structure to his experience in a new and containing way.

Writing prompt: Write a poem about an event or person. Write in couplets counterbalancing a negative with a positive aspect:

Not………………………………..

But………………………………..

Notice what happens to the memory as you do this.

Writing does give structure to our experience. If trauma is a rupture in the narrative, writing can provide a way of restoring the narrative of experience. Find out more at this workshop in Boulder where we will experiment with different structured writing techniques that have proved to be helpful:

Expressive Writing in Health & Trauma Recovery: Tools for Counseling Practice

September 19th 2015 9.30-12.30pm

Facilitated by:

Kate Thompson, MA, CJT, existential counselor, journal therapist and author of Therapeutic Journal Writing: An Introduction for Professionals

Carolyn Jennings, Journal to the Self® facilitator, author of Hunger Speaks a memoir told in poetry whose journals were key to her recovery from an eating disorder

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They may sneer – but they know it works……

The Guardian Weekly

The Guardian Weekly (Photo credit: noodlepie)

In The Guardian Weekly this week Oliver Burkeman, who writes on the ‘science of happiness’ (his inverted commas), wrote in this week’s This column will change your life  that:

“Keeping a journal sounds cheesy but there is increasing evidence that writing things down can help heal us.”

He cites several academic studies that support this. As many people already know from personal experience, keeping a journal is therapeutic.

If you don’t keep a journal is it because the idea of keeping one is in itself embarrassing, even ‘cheesy’?

If you already keep a journal has it ever seemed to be an embarrassing or inadmissible activity?

I confess that it has taken me a long time to admit the verb ‘to journal’ and all its derivative parts of speech into my idiolect. Burkeman uses journalling (with double L of course) as:

A present participle: ‘you should probably be journalling’

A gerund as noun: ‘you shouldn’t view journalling….’

However he retains the main verb as  ‘to keep or write a journal’ and journal remains a noun.

What vocabulary do you use to describe this activity? Do you use a different term altogether?

Even sardonic and cynical Burkeman admits that keeping a gratitude journal really helps. This is after all one of the most common exercises in the journal repertoire (I believe there are even apps for it).

Journal Prompt – A Gratitude Journal

Every day write down three things for which you are grateful. DSC02799

Just a word, phrase or sentence is enough. They can be anything from the mundane to the sublime – it’s really about paying attention to things that have enhanced your experience in some way.

At the end of the week write a feedback entry in your journal beginning:

When I read my gratitude lists for this week I notice…….

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